If I Wasn't Evil Enough

Apparently, Canadain beer drinkers threaten the planet. Well to be specific it's our beer fridges.

Permalink:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,313844,00.html

Red Crossed?

Apparently, rookie Red Cross President Mark Everson stepped down after getting caught having an affair with some young subordinate. The Red Cross spokes-lackies cranked out this passive ass-covering little gem, "It concluded that the situation reflected poor judgment on Mr. Everson's part and diminished his ability to lead the organization in the future."

The real question is, was she hot? You know she was a hot, that’s why he lost the gig. Had she been some Miss Hoglet type he'd still have the job. Just ask former US President Bill Clinton. All hail the Stud!!!

Permalink: http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22835207-5006003,00.html

Worjkers Unite: Political Puppet Prisoners Must Be Freed

The Gloat and Minion is reporting that the CBC had forced the retired Rusty and Jerome puppets from the Friendly Giant to perform for some type of exploitation video (re Gemini awards). To this I say, Worjkers we must unite to free Rusty and Jerome from their evil socialist masters!!! I will not rest until PM Harper answers for this travesty! Inquiry! Inquiry! Blah blah blah, Injustice! blah, snort, snark, collective bargaining and decent wages for all exploited puppets!!!

Permalink : http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20071127.wpuppets27/BNStory/Entertainment/home?cid=al_gam_nletter_newsUp

The Chocolate Cartels of Canada

In another news flash, apprently we have some type of chocolate fixing racket going on here in Canada. Reportedly, the Federal Competition Bureau is investigating allegations of price-fixing in the chocolate bar business. I should have gotten suspicious when Hershey’s closed down their chocolate plant in Smith Falls, Ontario and moved it to a empty warehouse on the shores of the St Lawrence River near Cornwall. Curses to you cocao smugglers.

Permalink http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20071128/chocolate_fixing_071128/20071128?hub=TopStories

Rejected 2010 Winter Olympic Mascots

Inspired by some cynical bastard, these are the whole heartedly rejected mascot names,

Migaslacker -- a responsibility dodging, freeloading sea-panda mutation inspired by the socialist legends of the Pacific Northwest. Migaslacker, described as an angry, mischievous do-gooder , is part bored and part misguided but mainly searching for their parents love.

Quatchedewan -- a shy and gentle Saskatchewan panhandler with a long brown beard and blue earmuffs meant to conjure the mystery and wonder associated with the quality of life that can be only be discovered in the vicinity of East Hastings and Carroll.

Sumibat -- the protester guardian and illegal automobile idling spirit, who flies off the handle at any type of authority during his dehydrated tofu/kelp induced visions. Sumibat is a self proclaimed " natural born leader with a passion that’s anti- everything minus the environment and 9/11 truths." Sumibat can usually be found outside the Vancouver Art Gallery.

Smithers, Unleash the Mascots

Today was the unleashing of the mascots for the 2010 Games in Vancouver. Now I know this is a easy target but I couldn't resist thier overbaked creepiness and wacky names. At the very least, if Canadians choke in 2010, we can unleash our combined fury on this merry band. Run Quatchi run!!!

Axis of Evil Post it Note: Hotel destruction is the entertainment of our enemies!!!

During my working hours I'm always blessed to be surrounded by the relentless onslaught of 24-hour news services whose programming schedule is filled with informative topics such as, "what to wear to work alerts". This morning however, I had the privilege to view another Hotel demolishing in the US. Now, I have nothing against the USA, nor do have anything against a good televised explosion. However, as I watched the implosion and fireworks combination followed by a subsequent collapse, I couldn't help to think of what the up and comer dictator with intentions of being number one on the axis of evil list would have on their Post it Notes. I suppose one may be, HOTEL DESTRUCTION IS THE ENTERTAINMENT OF OUR ENEMIES!!! I also suspect all up and coming dictators would spell using block letters as to demonstrate their intensity. On another note, would it be beneficial to incorporate a serpentine or round shell fireworks display into a GBU-28 Bunker Buster? Could you imagine the smoke and fireball destruction of a dictators palace combined with the lovely kaleidoscope of colours? I'm sold.

Hybrid Car Parking

IKEA has parking reserved for Hybrid cars only. So needless to say I parked there. On a side rant, WTF? Privileged parking for hybrid car owners? Whats is this world coming to? Did the UN mandate this? The funny thing is the looks of bystanders with the, "look at that unruly carbon burning caveman park his truck...with that bumper sticker (Think Fast Hippie!!!) in the hybrid parking spot, shame on you". It felt so good. So, after I'm finished placing together my pine (pine is wood, derived from the practice of logging) furniture, I'll get a good night sleep thinking of those usually empty parking spots otherwise soon to be reserved for my politically incorrect truck.

The Intellectual Masturbator: Ask The TV Military Defence Expert

The Intellectual Masturbator: Ask The Judgemental Pitbull

The Intellectual Masturbator: Ask the Surrender Monkey

What is this blog about?

Howdy All,

Good Ideas & Noble Intentions is my cynical view of the inhabitants of the outer rims of the Intellectual Masturbation Universe. In my opinion, the Good Ideas and Noble Intentions Universe I refer to on this blog consist of the following criteria;

1. Self-serving ambition.
2. Utopian.
3. Hope, fear and guilt (Idiot compassion).
4. Intellectual Masturbation.
5. Wolf’s in sheep clothing.
6. Confuses activity with accomplishment.

Enjoy