Whales With Santa Hats: The Next Threat To Freedom?

Whales in Santa Hats and 50 calibre machine guns mounted on cruise ships? This is not test of the emergency Good Ideas and Noble Intentions warning system. Beware, this one is all over the place.

Permalink:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=503232&in_page_id=1811

Canadian PM Allegedy Appoints Imaginary Penguin Creature

Ottawa - Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has allegedly appointed an imaginary penguin like creature to whisper secret conservative agendas into his head. The penguin like creature, not considered to be an indigenous species of Canada reportedly wears a green and white toque with matching bib.

Some suspect the penguin like creature may be some type of a bizzaro elf of the South Pole or possibly an attempt of Brazilian espionage. Regardless of the best speculative opinion, Prime Minister Harper waddled off the podium following the press conference. It is suspected the imaginary penguin recommended the waddle.

Celestial Violence In The Universe: How Do We Protect Our Children?

Violence is something we must deal with as species on this earth. However, when it comes to violence in the celestial bodies and cosmic gases of the universe, how do we as parents protect our childern?

Permalink:

http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/2007/12/17/science-black-hole.html

But Ummm...Didn't You Just Do That...

Don't get me the wrong way, I have nothing against helping people or charity. IMO its what makes the west the best. However, somewhere in a little city called Vancouver, good ideas and noble intentions are abound...

"Last year, Stormtech and the mission gave out 3,000 jackets to attendees at their annual Christmas dinners, which are open to everyone.

The problem, Vernon explained, was the many people who came back for second and thirds helpings - of food and jackets.

The mission hopes to avoid a repeat this year by not announcing the jacket giveaway."

Call me a unmeducated simpiliton, however, if you want to keep a low profile about your charitable plans, doesn't a well thought out news story before kind of defeat the purpose?

Permalink:
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2007/12/16/4727510-cp.html

BOB on the FOB

I had this website forwarded to me through a friend. After the laughter died down I had to place a link to it here. Bob, you have encapsulated the type of person I must deal with in the military (the reason why I founded this blog) on a daily basis. I used to have a variation of the good ideas fairy called the common sense fairy. I always wanted that little fairy it to spread its magic pixie dust over the leadership. However, the common sense fairies natural habitat was eliminated in much the same way some as good ideas and noble intentions were implemented to Yellowstone National Park Here. Bob (Albert) for your excellent observation and soldierly sense of humour, I salute you! All Hail Bob!!!

Mother Rescues Child From Predatory Mascot

Bali, Indonesia - An Indonesian lady rescued her four year old daughter from the clutches of Pauli the Bali Climate Change Bear in Bali, Indonesia today. Following the rescue of the child, Pauli the Climate Change Bear was then tazered by local authorities and placed into Indonesian custody.

Pauli the Bali Climate Change Bear was chosen by the United Nations as the symbolic mascot for the global climate change confernence taking place in Bali, Indonesia. Pauli was displaced from the shores of his native Baffin Island in northern Canada by the UN for this occasion. It is speculated that Pauli may have been suffering from some form of habitual arctic feeding pattern. "The child was likely for consumption purposes, however the warmer weather probably gave Pauli some type of heat exhaustion and he just wasn't up to eating", said Arctic Mascot expert Harv Gjoa.

UN Climate Change spokesmen James Bay said in a statement defending Pauli's actions, "Pauli clearly is a victim of climate change, the incident itself is proof that global warming is altering the behavior of arctic mascots".

Mascots rights advocates throughout the western world however are demanding better screening practices for mascots. " The mascot known as Pauli has been removed from his native northern land, and whether we like it or not, there's actually a season called winter up there. Bringing Pauli to a tropical climate zone with beaches filled with young tanned and tasty childern is a recipe for disaster", said a leading mascots rights advocate.

This incident has arrived only too quickly following the shame of the 2010 Olympic Mascot sex scandal. Although tazers were not reportedly used in during that Olympic Mascot scandal, Canadian authorities had considered them an option.

2010 Olympic Mascot Sex Scandal: Mascots Say Sorry

Vancouver - Olympic mascots, Quatchi, Sumi and Miga the Sea Bear gave an tearful apology today at a Vancouver press conference.

Surrounded by faithful supporters, the mascots gave their prepared statements. "Quatchi Sorry", said Quatchi as he attempting to hold back tears of regret. Sumi and Miga the Sea Bear also apologized for their behavior as the stress of the past four days has shown signs of fatigue on the Olympic mascots. They also called for calm in the light of recent riots that reportedly left 3 people injured.

"Sumi no want suffering, Sumi want peace" said Sumi in the most cutest little voice. As the mascots spoke to members of the press in the room, you could feel the resentment of the crowd dissipate and turn into a wave of awe.

IOC Chairman Deepan Thatmoan said all is forgiven with the mascots, "Quatchi, Sumi and Miga the Sea Bear are forgiven by the IOC for their indiscretions. I believe their sincerity when they say they are truly sorry for their actions".

At the end of the press conference Miga the Sea Bear spoke, "Miga sorry, we put behind us this now, focus on future we do". Yoda could have not said it better. The three mascots finished the press conference by saying they will start a charitable foundation with the intentions of assisting others with sexual addictions.

2010 Olympic Mascot Sex Scandal: Three Injured In World Wide Rioting

Vancouver - Rioting has broken out in a couple of cities and one suburb throughout the world over the Olympic Mascot Sex Scandal. Three people have been reportedly injured in riots in cities such as Kamloops British Columbia, Visoko in Bosnia Herzegovina and Barrhaven, a suburb of the Canadian capitol city of Ottawa. In addition to rioting, smaller protests outside of Vancouver tourist kiosks which sell stuffed mascot toys have meet with latte induced amiability.

IOC Chairman Deepan Thatmoan has called for calm, reassuring the world that an investigation is underway into sexual misconduct allegations. Chairman Thatmoans calls for peace however have fallen on dead ears as an angry world seeks revenge and blood for what is viewed as an, "breach of innocence" by Quatchi, Sumi and Miga the Sea Bears sexual exploits.

As day three passes on the 2010 Mascot Sex Scandal questions are also being asked why Canadian Prime Minister Harper has not called an inquiry.

2010 Olympic Mascot Sex Scandal: A Nation Struggles For Lord Stanely

Vancouver - A heavy rain bombards the now darkened city streets of Vancouver in the wake of the Mascot Sex scandal. Jim Levertoss a Vancouver resident and fan of Olympic sports mascots was distraught with the thought of an Olympics without a mascot. "It was just yesterday when they walked out on that stage, so cute and cuddly....who would have thought?".

Reactions in Vancouver and across the country reflected the same sadness as Jim Levertoss, distraught, alone, lost in despair and searching for answers. "They represented something we want people to think we have in Canada...Sea Bears, Sasquatches and that other fucken flying thing!!!", exclaimed a resident of an East Vancouver sidewalk as he attempted to steal this reporters sandwich.

"I believe the only way we can forgive these mascots is if they can bring the back the Cup in 2008", said Tommy Smyl, suggesting the mascots could be forgiven providing they win the Stanley Cup for a Canadian NHL Team.

As a nation struggles for answers in this dark time, we must not forget that the Olympic spirit will eventually unfold like a mountain flower after a long global warming induced winter. Eventually, with a little bit of hope and a little bit of luck, the Canadian peoples collective attention will focus on bringing the Stanley Cup back to Canada by Miga the Sea Bear.

2010 Olympic Mascot Sex Scandal: Caughtcha Quatchi! Mascot Seen Departing Luxury Condo

Vancouver - Olympic Mascot Quatchi was seen departing his luxury downtown Vancouver condominium late afternoon today. Surrounded by reporters hungry for innuendo, Quatchi, escorted by his lawyer refused to comment on any sexual misconduct allegations as he made his quick get away, to what has been assumed as a meeting with IOC Attorney General Hans Jobbs.

Qautchi first came to fame in on 27 Nov 2007, during the unavailing of himself and two other Olympic mascots for the 2010 Winter Games in Vancouver. Quatchi was described as the shy and gentle Sasquatch with a long brown beard and blue earmuffs meant to conjure the mystery and wonder associated with Canada's wilderness. However, explicit pornographic images had arisen on the internet which have brought his character and role as Olympic mascot into question.

Liberal Leader Stéphane Dion along with other members of the opposition have called for an inquiry into the scandal alleging that the Conservative government was aware of the images prior to their unavailing and "tried to cover it up as part of their secret agenda". Prime Minister Stephen Harper in a rare moment of frustration was quoted in Question Period as saying, "Mr Speaker, can you please inform the Honorable member of the opposition that these are Fucken Mascots!!! We have a country to run here people, we are at a war in Afghanistan, our main trading partner and neighbor to the south is showing signs of an economic slowdown and the opposition wants an inquiry into the sexual misconduct of Mascots?"

Stéphane Dion later stated in the press gallery that he would lead an independent inquiry free from government intervention to get to the truth of the matter.

2010 Olympic Mascot Sex Scandal: Why???

Vancouver- 2010 Olympic Mascots Quatchi, Sumi and Miga the Sea Bear have refused to respond to calls for their resignation following the discovery of sexually explicit images found on the adult web site www.getyourfreakon.com. However the real concern is why? Why would these three enduring mascots who represent hope and inspiration for young Olympians resort to such behavior. IOC Attorney General Hans Jobbs asked Tuesday for an independent investigation of allegations of professional misconduct surrounding a sex scandal.

Hans Jobbs said he would ask Cherry Titz, the IOC disciplinarian administrator, to look into further accusations.

“It is essential that the people of Vancouver and Canada have confidence in the Olympics mascots,” Titz said in a statement.

Athletes and concerned parents alike welcomed the investigation, though some questioned whether the disciplinarian administrator could answer every question about the Mascot’s conduct. "The disciplinarian administrator typically does handle misconduct, however her investigation probably won’t whip onto allegations of sexual misconduct", said Jobbs.

“This would be a relatively narrow investigation,” said Hugh Grant, an actor with no ties to the investigation nor any Olympic aspirations. “The allegations are much broader than just merely whether they violated their professional ethics.”

Government Opposition Leaders Liberal Stéphane Dion, NDP leader Jack Layton and Bloc Quebecois leader Gilles Duceppe along with Green Party leader Elizabeth May have all called for an immediate inquiry into what has been dubbed, "Canada's darkest hour of shame".

"The sad thing is...we are all victims", NDP leader Jack Layton was apparently sound-bitted as saying.

If Quatchi , Sumi and Miga the Sea Bear are removed from their mascot duties for the 2010 Olympics, it is still yet unknown who will replace them.

We at Good Idea and Noble Intentions will help fuel the flames of speculative hearsay until a another scandal can be exploited for maximum readership.

2010 Olympic Mascot Sex Scandal: Mascots Gone Wild!

Explicit images of 2010 Olympic Mascots Quatchi , Sumi and Miga the Sea Bear were found posted on a known adult internet site yesterday. The images reportedly depict all three mascots performing in sexually explicit acts. When contacted by various news outlets, all three mascots declined to comment about the allegations. Additionally the IOC has stated that they have no comment until a preliminary investigation into the allegations has been performed....developing

US Gives Blessing To France-Keith Richards Nuclear Deal

Is it just me or is Moamer Kadhafi starting to look like Keith Richards?

Permalink:
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=071211142156.1dd1q31d&show_article=1

Recipe for Failure

The Bali Lama "aka Stéphane Dion" finally has released his latest cook book called "Recipe for Failure"

Lets take a look shall we?

Chapter Une - It's All In The Thyme-ing
Chapter Deux - la Flaming Poulet
Chapter Trois - Dinosaur Soup de Jour
Chapter Quatre - Priorities are not that Easterly
Chapter Cinq - The Kyoto Sushi Roll-over

Permalink to noble intentions:
http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2007/12/11/dion-climate.html

Gaia Recycling and Renunciation Temple For The Arts

Theres nothing I dislike more than Utopian thinkers...well I believe their called environmentalists now days (and I'm not talking about ordinary Canadians who actually care about the environment).

Now I must wonder what the perfect green spaced environmentalist paradise would resemble? I'm sure it would all be great at first, magnificent gardens, drum playing, philosophical discussion, only "good" forms of capitalism and then of course the slide into hubris and societal control. Yep, I'm sure it will turn into good old fashioned human sacrifice and cannibalism at the Gaia Recycling and Renunciation Temple for the Arts .

Anywho, I'm glad there's someone in this country who enjoys cramming reality down those environmentalists throats, with their more holier than thou attitudes and hemp butter wraps. Just rememberer grennies, passive aggression is still aggression.

Permalink:
http://www.canada.com/ottawacitizen/news/story.html?id=89115ff1-a7a3-487f-a4f4-77550314d26b

Witch!!!! BurnThe Witch....Nevermind It Was Just Marxism Kicking In Again

Good Day All,

I believe we all have had the experience of being on the receiving end of a loud mouth with gossipy opinion disguised as fact with the intention of making you look bad. With that memory in mind, NDP MP Irene Mathyssen dropped the muck raking transmission into low gear on B.C. Conservative MP James Moore, claiming he had a picture of a "scantily clad" woman on his laptop. Luckily for him, it was just his supposed girlfriend...or at least someone dressed in womens clothing in some of their Conservative Sin-day bests. I personally suspect it was Shakira or possibly Ru Paul, but who really knows and much less, who really cares.

However, unluckily for Mathyssen...and thanks to the internet, I found the Honorable Member preparing some Jonestown kool-aid and flapjacks prior to another emotion driven, fact lacking NDP witch hunt and burning. To Sir James Moore...All Hail the Stud!!!

Permalink:
http://www.thestar.com/News/Canada/article/283086

The Chronicles of All Hail The Stud: He's a Cruzin!

I know people like to hack on Bill Clinton, but if you ever meet the man you'd be swept up by his charisma. That being said, I wholeheartedly endorse another brilliant move by the former President as he choose to sit by Penelope Cruz (A) rather than that other women (B). All Hail The Stud!!!

Permalink:
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22873718-5001026,00.html

In A Depart From Cynicism

In a depart from cynicism I could'nt help to enjoy this link shown to me by a Royal Canadian Legion (Branch) President.

Permalink:

http://users.skynet.be/fb730011/salute.htm

I must admit this brought up a great memory in my military career (and my respect for Dutch soldiers...and a US soldier) that took place in Germany during 1994. Specifically during the 1994 Boeselager Competition (a Cold War NATO Calvary sponsored by the Bundeswehr) the Dutch team were purchasing us Canadians beer and demonstrating a great deal of respect for what in reality our forefathers had earned for us in WWII. A US soldier couldn't help to observe that they had not received the same treatment from the Dutch and inquired why they liked us Canadians so much. I replied, "it probably has something to do with Canada liberating their country in WWII". His reply was, " well we (Americans) have liberated plenty of countries". Yes, however the difference is...you never left", I had responded. Following a perplexed look on his face he looked at me and said, "you know I think your right". To this day I proudly display that US soldiers BDU cap on my wall at home. I display that cap not out of, "I'm better than you Americans or such nonsense", that so many in Canada like to demonstrate and don't understand why. I place his cap on my wall is day because he was a great guy...well a good human being to be specific.

So Dutch soldiers, from a Canadian soldier, please don't hang the US flag upside down if we ever have another Boeselager. Also, somebody buy this little tyke a Heineken when he turns legal Netherlands drinking age. LEST WE FORGET

You Can't Swallow This....But You Can Swallow That

Another great moment in equality for all and personal responsibility.

Permalink:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/gayrights/story/0,,2221460,00.html

If I Wasn't Evil Enough

Apparently, Canadain beer drinkers threaten the planet. Well to be specific it's our beer fridges.

Permalink:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,313844,00.html

Red Crossed?

Apparently, rookie Red Cross President Mark Everson stepped down after getting caught having an affair with some young subordinate. The Red Cross spokes-lackies cranked out this passive ass-covering little gem, "It concluded that the situation reflected poor judgment on Mr. Everson's part and diminished his ability to lead the organization in the future."

The real question is, was she hot? You know she was a hot, that’s why he lost the gig. Had she been some Miss Hoglet type he'd still have the job. Just ask former US President Bill Clinton. All hail the Stud!!!

Permalink: http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22835207-5006003,00.html

Worjkers Unite: Political Puppet Prisoners Must Be Freed

The Gloat and Minion is reporting that the CBC had forced the retired Rusty and Jerome puppets from the Friendly Giant to perform for some type of exploitation video (re Gemini awards). To this I say, Worjkers we must unite to free Rusty and Jerome from their evil socialist masters!!! I will not rest until PM Harper answers for this travesty! Inquiry! Inquiry! Blah blah blah, Injustice! blah, snort, snark, collective bargaining and decent wages for all exploited puppets!!!

Permalink : http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20071127.wpuppets27/BNStory/Entertainment/home?cid=al_gam_nletter_newsUp

The Chocolate Cartels of Canada

In another news flash, apprently we have some type of chocolate fixing racket going on here in Canada. Reportedly, the Federal Competition Bureau is investigating allegations of price-fixing in the chocolate bar business. I should have gotten suspicious when Hershey’s closed down their chocolate plant in Smith Falls, Ontario and moved it to a empty warehouse on the shores of the St Lawrence River near Cornwall. Curses to you cocao smugglers.

Permalink http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20071128/chocolate_fixing_071128/20071128?hub=TopStories

Rejected 2010 Winter Olympic Mascots

Inspired by some cynical bastard, these are the whole heartedly rejected mascot names,

Migaslacker -- a responsibility dodging, freeloading sea-panda mutation inspired by the socialist legends of the Pacific Northwest. Migaslacker, described as an angry, mischievous do-gooder , is part bored and part misguided but mainly searching for their parents love.

Quatchedewan -- a shy and gentle Saskatchewan panhandler with a long brown beard and blue earmuffs meant to conjure the mystery and wonder associated with the quality of life that can be only be discovered in the vicinity of East Hastings and Carroll.

Sumibat -- the protester guardian and illegal automobile idling spirit, who flies off the handle at any type of authority during his dehydrated tofu/kelp induced visions. Sumibat is a self proclaimed " natural born leader with a passion that’s anti- everything minus the environment and 9/11 truths." Sumibat can usually be found outside the Vancouver Art Gallery.

Smithers, Unleash the Mascots

Today was the unleashing of the mascots for the 2010 Games in Vancouver. Now I know this is a easy target but I couldn't resist thier overbaked creepiness and wacky names. At the very least, if Canadians choke in 2010, we can unleash our combined fury on this merry band. Run Quatchi run!!!

Axis of Evil Post it Note: Hotel destruction is the entertainment of our enemies!!!

During my working hours I'm always blessed to be surrounded by the relentless onslaught of 24-hour news services whose programming schedule is filled with informative topics such as, "what to wear to work alerts". This morning however, I had the privilege to view another Hotel demolishing in the US. Now, I have nothing against the USA, nor do have anything against a good televised explosion. However, as I watched the implosion and fireworks combination followed by a subsequent collapse, I couldn't help to think of what the up and comer dictator with intentions of being number one on the axis of evil list would have on their Post it Notes. I suppose one may be, HOTEL DESTRUCTION IS THE ENTERTAINMENT OF OUR ENEMIES!!! I also suspect all up and coming dictators would spell using block letters as to demonstrate their intensity. On another note, would it be beneficial to incorporate a serpentine or round shell fireworks display into a GBU-28 Bunker Buster? Could you imagine the smoke and fireball destruction of a dictators palace combined with the lovely kaleidoscope of colours? I'm sold.

Hybrid Car Parking

IKEA has parking reserved for Hybrid cars only. So needless to say I parked there. On a side rant, WTF? Privileged parking for hybrid car owners? Whats is this world coming to? Did the UN mandate this? The funny thing is the looks of bystanders with the, "look at that unruly carbon burning caveman park his truck...with that bumper sticker (Think Fast Hippie!!!) in the hybrid parking spot, shame on you". It felt so good. So, after I'm finished placing together my pine (pine is wood, derived from the practice of logging) furniture, I'll get a good night sleep thinking of those usually empty parking spots otherwise soon to be reserved for my politically incorrect truck.

The Intellectual Masturbator: Ask The TV Military Defence Expert

The Intellectual Masturbator: Ask The Judgemental Pitbull

The Intellectual Masturbator: Ask the Surrender Monkey

What is this blog about?

Howdy All,

Good Ideas & Noble Intentions is my cynical view of the inhabitants of the outer rims of the Intellectual Masturbation Universe. In my opinion, the Good Ideas and Noble Intentions Universe I refer to on this blog consist of the following criteria;

1. Self-serving ambition.
2. Utopian.
3. Hope, fear and guilt (Idiot compassion).
4. Intellectual Masturbation.
5. Wolf’s in sheep clothing.
6. Confuses activity with accomplishment.

Enjoy